I am not going to lie…I’m exhausted. Normally, I keep my posts fun & light…but I need to keep it real for a second.
I am f*cking exhausted. Every. Day.
Literally, as I am trying to write this my son has pushed the chair up to my counter so that he can grab the mouse and throw it across the room.
When I was growing up I never remember having a big fancy dream. I always wanted to go to college & have a career but I never really knew what.
What I did always know was that I wanted to be a mom. And I wanted to be able to stay at home with my babies until they were ready to go to school.
When my daughter was born, I stayed home for 3 months but then went back to work part time. Working 3 days a week, with a brand new baby… feels like an eternity. It breaks your heart to think what they are doing all day and that you are missing it!
This is not how I pictured being a mom. And yes I realize how lucky that I was only working 3 days and so lucky to that my parents & husband were the ones watching her but again it was my first baby and I was so sad.
I am not going to lie…I’m exhausted
15 months later I had my son. I knew I was going to do the same plan…stay home for 3 months and then have to head back to work. That is when I started this blog. I was determined that I eventually would be able to be a SAHM. http://talesofatiredmom.com/2016/08/06/struggle-is-real/
Three months came and went quicker than it did the first time. There I was, heading back to work. My husband could no longer work from home one day a week (or maybe it was the whole being outnumbered by the 2 under 2 babies ;). So we recruited my aunt & cousin to take over his day to watch the babes. Thank god for family.
Now my daughter was older and my son was just three months old. In some ways, it was easier to go back because I expected it and I prepared myself. But still that overwhelming guilt that I was missing everyday things…I hated it.
Fast forward to about 9 months later. We had sold our first house and were planning to move. I was finally in a position to quit my job. I left my job right as summer 2017 started.
We had such a great summer. Trips to the beach and lots of pool days. We got to do so many projects and arts and crafts. I got back into cooking with the kids all the time again. We played in the backyard with our water toys and baby pool almost every day. My son turned one that summer and my daughter was almost 2 1/2 years old. It wasn’t always easy but I was soaking it all in.
I appreciated this time more because I had gone back to work. And now that I was able to stay home, I wanted to make up for lost time.
I am not going to lie…I’m exhausted
Well. I have been a stay at home mom for a year & a half. My kids are 2 and 3 years old and some days are really f*cking hard. I mean, like really hard.
And I think its okay to complain some days. You can be completely grateful AND hate being a SAHM some days.
BECAUSE let’s keep it real now. PEOPLE JUDGE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
What do you do? Do you work? When are you going back to work? What do you do all day?
WHAT DO I DO? Well for starters, my job starts from the moment I open my eyes. No, I’m sorry I am actually on call 24/7!!! Both of my kids are absolutely terrible when it comes to bedtime so almost every night I go to sleep with them and wake up with them. Woken up by one of them. Or if I try to slip out of bed I quickly hear little feet close behind me.
My morning is a mad dash of making my daughter’s lunch, getting her hair done, dressed and ready to get on the bus. Also, a mad dash of me trying to get dressed so I don’t have to go to the bus stop in my pajamas…again.
Also, it would be REALLY awesome if my son would stop making an escape out of the front door when I am trying to kiss my daughter goodbye and so I can wave to her so she can see me from her window seat on the bus. Instead of you know chasing him, and PS he is almost always still in his pajamas.
I am not going to lie…I’m exhausted
To be blunt, sometimes I feel like the maid. Washing dishes, doing the laundry, vacuuming, I won’t even get into the bathroom cleaning, day after day doing the same chores only for it to be destroyed by night. Dealing with the tantrums and just wanting an hour of alone time!
And can I please just say all of this without being judged. I LOVE taking care of my family. And I love cooking for them every night. Well almost ;). And I love being the one doing everything with them every single day. That now includes making a gingerbread house every single night. I wouldn’t give up being a SAHM for ANYTHING!
But I think sometimes we are so worried about everyone else that we forget to take care of ourselves. You can be a mom & have a career. You can be a mom & follow your dreams. Or you can be a mom and “just be a mom.”
Just be the mom that YOU want to be. It is enough. And please believe this… “Ain’t no hood like motherhood.”
PS…Someone get me a maid for Christmas 🙂
